Courtesy of Mother Jones:
The new video produced, by IJ Review, the conservative media outlet that brought you such hits as "How To Destroy Your Cell Phone with Lindsey Graham," features Cruz demonstrating how to cook bacon the way he claims they do it in Texas. In the video, Cruz wraps a strip of bacon around the barrel of a machine gun, covering it in tin foil, then shooting at a target until the grease starts to drip onto the cement. Cruz then unwraps the tin foil and takes a fork to the sizzling meat. "Mmm, machine-gun bacon," he says. Then he tilts his head back slightly and laughs.
I don't want to get too Freudian here but did anybody else notice how carefully, and yes even gently, Cruz wraps that pig flesh around the barrel of his gun?
You know if I went to school with a guy who attempted to convince that this was how he made his breakfast every morning, all it would do is convince me that he would be giving me his lunch money every day until graduation.
I have no idea how a man who is so clearly lacking significantly in the penile area was able to produce enough sperm to father two children.
That my friends is a mystery.
Ted Cruz makes a political advertisement that doubles as a cry for help concerning insecurities about his manhood.
5:44 PM
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